A Decimal Point	I'm a Dot in Place
Alec Guinness	Genuine Class
Animosity	Is No Amity
Contradiction	Accord not in it
Desperation	A Rope Ends It
Dormitory	Dirty Room
Eleven plus two	Twelve plus one
Mother-in-law	Woman Hitler
Princess Diana	Ascend in Paris
Semolina	Is No Meal
Slot Machines	Cash Lost in 'em
Snooze Alarms	Alas! No More Z's
The Earthquakes	That Queer Shake
The Morse Code	Here Come Dots
The Public Art Galleries	Large Picture Halls, I Bet
Virginia Bottomley	I'm an evil Tory bigot
Punishment	nine thumps
The Meaning of Life	the fine game of nil
Jim Morrison	Mr Mojo Risin'
Heads or Tails	I herald a toss
Schoolmaster	The Classroom
The nudist colony	No untidy clothes
starting price	racing tipster
The active volcano	Cones evict hot lava
Actors	Co-star
Admirer	Married
The Arabian Desert	It's a heated barren
The Arctic Circle	Chart ice circlet
As the twig is bent,the tree is inclined	See treatise's intent: "Begin with child."
Astronomers	Moonstarers
The carotid artery	To carry heart tide
The Census Enumerators	Those surname counters
The centenarians	I can hear ten 'tens'
The cockroach	Cook, catch her!
Delicatessen	Ensliced eats
Disintegration	Darn it! It is gone
Divorce scandal	Love can discard
A domesticated animal	Docile, as a man tamed it
The dromedaries	Home-arid desert
Fragile	E.G., frail
A gentleman	Elegant man
Gladiator	A lad o' grit
The headstones	Deaths on these
A highwayman	Away! Hang him
The housewarming	Thus rig a new home
Is pity love?	Positively
The married man	I'm her darned mate
The maternity hospital	Type that mothers ail in
Mince pies	Spice in 'em
Minutes	Sun time
Misfortune	Oft ruins me
The 'Mona Lisa'	No hat, a smile
A motherless lad	Had met real loss
Muttering	Emit grunt
One hug	Enough?
Orator	To roar
Our destiny	It's your end
A pair of twins	Is twain for Pa
Poachers	Cop hares
The Postmaster General	He's letter-post manager
Presidential elections	I see politics enter land
Received payment	Every cent paid me
Revolution	I love to run
Shrubbery	Berry bush
Six and three	IX stand there
Special delivery stamps	Price speeds mail vastly
A stage whisper	We hear its gasp
Staghound	A dog hunts
State criminals	A miscreant list
A strip-teaser	Attire sparse
Suspended animation	Supine man is not dead
A telescope	To see place
Ten Commandments	Can't mend most men
This ear	It hears
Traffic rules	Careful first
The typewriter	Write pretty, eh?
The Unknown Soldier	Unlisted- knew honor
Upholsterers	Restore plush
Waitress	A stew, Sir?
Wild oats	Lad sow it
David Blaine	I bad and evil.
Tony Blair MP	I'm Tory Plan B
Clint Eastwood	old West Action
Britney Spears	Presbyterians
George Bush	he bugs Gore
Love and Lust	Adult Novels
Internal Revenue Service	I never return even a slice
Tara Palmer Tomkinson	I'm a plonker, moans tart
The Houses of Parliament	Loonies far up the Thames
Armageddon	Dragon-made
Michael Bolton	I'm the local nob.
Eric Clapton	Narcoleptic
Britney Spears	Presbyterians
" To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
"In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten."
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil Armstrong
"Thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!"

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